Religion and Gatekeepers at Fault, not Pastor Terry Jones
Religion and Gate Keepers—not Pastor Terry Jones at Fault
— Jeremiah Camara
Imagine a molehill becoming a mountain overnight. Not very likely is it? That is, unless you’re talking about something with other worldly powers ensuring that possibility—like the media. Thanks to our fine gumshoes, we found a dust particle in the name of Pastor Terry Jones of Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida, who once promised to burn a bunch of Qurans. How did a 25,000 world circumference of people set their coordinates on 29.67°N 82.33°W (Gainesville) and how can a man preaching out of a shoebox have the power to ruffle the feathers of people 8,000 miles away? To pull off a hoax of that magnitude, one needs an established accomplice. In one stroke of a notebook key, we were able to witness the irony in how something so weak and insignificant has the ability to garner the attention of the President of the most powerful country in the world. The world actually paid mind to a man who says that Jesus would do the same thing [burn the Qurans], God told him to…burn the Qurans, and unless God told him not to do it, he would carry out his mission. Jones later decided (sorry…God changed his mind) not to carry out this amateur hour stunt. This was a great time for non-believers! Not only were we free of religious lunacy but we also had the added bonus of having what religious extremists could have used at the time—a sense of humor.
Leave it up to the ol’ Bible and Quran and people having heart-to-heart talks with their trusted sky-daddies to start our hate engines roaring. Pastor Terry…what’s his name? Oh, yeah, Jones, being a man of God, of course, must have known how God often changes His mind after sending His prophets out on news-worthy missions. God did the same thing with Moses. He sent Moses, in a sense, to burn up Egypt but later—changing His mind, becoming angry with Moses for reasons not fully explained—as in Pastor Jones’ case. Luckily, Moses’ wife Zipporah was able to restore the mission of her husband by cutting the foreskin off their son’s penis and throwing it at Moses. I don’t get how this appeased God either but the point is, however, that Terry Jones is not delusional. Because of God’s capricious nature, we can assume that Jones was indeed communicating with God, and God did change His mind. Because the mission to burn the Qurans was aborted, we can also assume that Pastor Jones’ male supporters were already circumcised.
Meanwhile, Allah was telling His people of the world to defend the Quran and kill Terry Jones. It’s hard to tell who’s more culpable—the religious fanatics with too much time on their hands or the media being their usual slutty selves— prostituting to the hopelessly bored amongst us. Whether it was God vs. Allah, Jesus vs. Muhammad, Jones vs. a billion believers or CNN vs. CBS, they all managed to almost put young soldiers in combat, in even more danger. But, in all fairness, the world’s inhabitants were just being their usual religious selves.
The reporter who first put this grain of sand (Pastor Jones) under a microscope and the keepers, who opened up the gate, should all be prosecuted. File this one under incendiary journalism and inciting human annihilation. We can’t continue to use MP 7’s to squash fruit flies. Throw the rotten fruit out (religion) and the Gainesville-like pests will disappear into obscurity.
September 11, 2010 at 6:18 pm
You spoke mad truth!